A rerun on fun

Note: By some miracle, Secret Garden Books in Seattle got a few copies of CHASING BROOKLYN in early. AND I signed them!!! If you are interested in getting one for yourself or that special someone for the holidays, you can e-mail them at bookshop@secretgardenbooks.com. They'll then have you call with a credit card number and your address. Please note they also have signed copies of I HEART YOU, YOU HAUNT ME and FAR FROM YOU to order as well. They'll ship anywhere in the US!!

(originally posted at livejournal on June 30, 2006)

Last night I awoke to the sound of the dog barking. I came downstairs and heard talking and laughter coming from outside.

I peeked through the blinds and saw three cars, one behind the other. And outside those cars were 12 kids.

Now, you might think that as an almost-40-year-old mother of two sleeping boys, I might have wanted to go out and ask that they keep it down, or move their party somewhere else. No, I didn't think that.

I wanted to skip upstairs, run a brush through my hair, throw on some shorts and a tank top, and join them.

For just one night, I wanted to pretend I was 16 again, with no worries or cares in the world except, "Where can we go now to make some fun?"

Fun. I have recently discovered, or remembered, since I had certainly experienced it in those teen years, how much I LOVE TO HAVE FUN.

I have worked hard the past five years, writing, writing and writing some more. People would tell me I was so driven, so inspiring, and underneath those words, I think they were saying, a little crazy. I never let up. Never. My family would go places and do things and I would stay home and write.

Over the past two weeks, I had no writing goals even though I had lots of time. I was, after all, on vacation. But, my only goal was to have fun and enjoy the time. And boy did we have fun. We played, we laughed, we did LOTS of fun things, and even just curling up to watch a DVD on a Wednesday afternoon was fun because it's SO not something I'd ever let myself do.

A friend recently e-mailed me and said, you know, it's like a well. At some point, your well does go dry, and it's good to let the water seep back in, and fill up again.

I have never been good at balance. I'm pretty much an all or nothing girl. That is my goal now, more than ever, to find the balance of work and family and fun and writing. Honestly, right now, it seems impossible to me. But it's something to work on and strive for.

Certainly, there are times writing is fun. But in a much quieter kind of way. And it does fill me up in ways other things don't. But I think, right now, I need the other kind of fun. The loud, laughter-filled, people-filled, everything-in-your-body-sings-filled kind of fun.

And I refuse to feel guilty or bad about that. My well is is being filled. And it feels so good.

So hey - have FUN this weekend, okay!?