Two happy posts from blogging past

(Originally posted on livejournal in a locked post 10-24-06)

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A fabulous agent loves my free verse novel, I HEART YOU, YOU HAUNT ME! She says she would be the strongest of advocates or something like that!

She wants to talk with me!!!!!

Of course, I have to ask questions and make sure she's THE ONE, but do you know how FREAKING good it feels to be wanted???

Again, I have to say, OMG!!!!!!!!!

***

(originally posted at livejournal on 10-26-06)

Don't Stop Believing

On April 23, 2004
the search began.

Steven Malk
was the first.

I longed for him to say yes
like I long for
the warmth of the sun
in the dead of winter.

ALIEN GIRL
No thank you.
No thanks.
NO!

Dig deep.
Dig deeper.

Write some more.
Write better.
Write.

More queries.
More rejection.
More despair.

IN THE NAME OF ROCK
No thank you.
No thanks.
NO!

Study.
Read.
Learn.

Write some more.
Write even better.
Write.

I celebrated with others,
watching them climb
the ladder of success
while my heart cried
because no one wanted
me.

Try.
Try.
Try again.

SHINE, BRIGHTLY
No thank you.
No thanks.
NO!

Doubt creeps in
like a spider.
Slowly,
quietly,
and then it is there,
bigger
and scarier
than you ever thought
it could be.

“Getting a good agent is hard.”

Climbing a mountain is hard.
Childbirth is hard.
Love is hard.

Think about that.
Hard, but worth it.
Definitely worth it.

And so,
the theme became
Don’t
Stop
Believing.

I HEART YOU, YOU HAUNT ME
“It’s too short to be a novel.”
“Too sad.”
“Poetry isn’t my thing.”

Friends wrapped themselves
around my heart
and gave me love
and friendship
and encouragement
which carried me through.

One kind editor
and a world-famous author
said nice things,
opening the window just a crack
to let light and hope
shine through.

Don't
Stop
Believing.

And then one day,
words on the screen,
making me jump up
and squeal,
clutching my chest
because my heart is beating
like a drum in an African village.

“I enjoyed it immensely.”
“The verse works here – never getting in the way...”
“I would be the most enthusiastic of advocates.”

But what if...
what if we don’t see eye to eye?
what if she’s weird?
what if she’s not the one?

A sleepless night
full of worry
but also
full of prayers
of thankfulness.
No matter what,
be grateful.

And then,
it’s good.
It’s ALL good.
It’s GREAT!
More than I ever hoped for.
My favorite quote: “I don’t give up easily.”
No funny feelings.
Everything inside of me says YES.

She IS the one.

Each step,
each stumble,
each fall,
each word,
led me to this place.

On October 25, 2006
the search ended.

And a new chapter
in my life as a writer
has begun...